Rosalind Kristina Cosme: A Birth Story

Here is the story of how our sweet baby girl entered this world. While I know it's not possible to remember every minute of those first few days I want to hold on to as much of it as possible and hopefully someday when Rosie asks how she got here I can tell her in vivid detail just how those moments of overwhelming joy unfolded. 

On Monday September 14, our sweet baby's due date, I woke up at around 6:00 am to discover I had lost my mucus plug. Now if you aren't sure what a mucus plug is, it is exactly what it sounds like, and I warn you do NOT google this term like I did. You will immediately regret it. I called Devin in to the bathroom to show him and at first he protested but I said if I have to deal this these horrifying bodily functions so does he. So he came in and was totally disgusted and then said "Wait...what does this mean?". 

I told him it could mean something...or nothing. I had read that some women lose their mucus plug and don't go into labor for another 2 weeks and other women start contractions within a few hours. So I told him I would keep him posted and off to work he went. By the time I got on the bus to go to work at 8:00 I was pretty sure contractions had started but it was so hard to know. Everything I had read explained contractions differently, so I wasn't sure if what I was feeling were actual contractions - especially because they didn't really hurt. While at work I started to time what I thought were contractions (it would start with a pain in my back and then my stomach would get very hard and then it would all subside). They were fairly regularly spaced - about 6-8 minutes and not terribly long. I was still not really that concerned because I had already convinced myself that this baby would be late. 

Devin on the other hand was getting more anxious as the day ticked on.

Apparently when you are waiting for updates in the impending birth of your daughter information about the McRib just pales in comparison. 

I proceeded with my regular daily tasks, sliced some brains and at around 3:00 the slight pain in my back was growing more forceful and I couldn't really ignore it any longer. 

By the time Devin picked me up from work around 4 the contractions were strong enough to give me pause. We went home and Devin made dinner because one thing I knew is that I wanted to try and eat as long as I felt up to it so that I could keep my strength up, so in between each contraction I had a bite of buffalo chicken tender as we debated when to go to the hospital. Devin called the hospital and told them where we were at with contractions and the nurse listened to me have a contraction on the phone and said it was our call - she thought it sounded like we could labor at home for a while longer or go in. We decided to wait another hour or so, so I called my mom and told her the plan, Devin packed his hospital bag, and we took a few pictures. 

During this pregnancy every time Devin took a bump picture of me he would just keep snapping away because he knows how much it annoys me and loves making me delete 20+ nonsensical photos.  However this time they turned out pretty hilarious.

This was the first set - we got one good one before a contraction started.

Then I realized you couldn't really read the sticker, so we took another...but then another contraction came on. 

So we grabbed our bags and left for the car, where we took this picture. Devin HATES selfies but he gave in so we could have one last photo as a twosome. 

Once we got to the hospital we started in the intake room where they took vitals and hooked me up to a monitor to get a baseline on baby. By now contractions were getting pretty painful and I tried breathing through each one fairly successfully, when the midwife came in to check me I was at 2-3 centimeters dilated so she said she would be back in a few hours to see if I was making progress.

In the meantime I ate a poptart, bounced on the birthing ball, moaned and groaned, and tried to rest while we watched a new PBS special about Walt Disney. A few hours later the midwife returned and told me that I was now a solid 3 cm, so there was definite progress, but nothing outrageous. She gave us the option of staying there and waiting another few hours to get checked again or go home before things got really crazy. We opted to go home so that we could avoid being in the hospital any longer than necessary, so we met my parents in the waiting room (they had started the drive over from Chicago when we left for the hospital) and told them it was still going to be a while before they met their granddaughter but we would keep them updated incase we decided to go back to the hospital in the middle of the night.

We got back home at about 11 and tried to make things as comfortable as possible for what was certainly going to be a long night. Devin ran me a hot bath every hour or so where I would sit through a few contractions, and then get out and lie in bed to try and sleep in between contractions. As the night went on they were consistently about 6 minutes apart, and getting more painful - I remember a few times waking up Devin by screaming "Devin-help me, help me, AHHHHH!" or just "Ahhhh, my back, rub it...RUB IT!" He kept nodding off while he was rubbing my back though and I'm sure you can imagine how well I responded to that. 

Once the sun was back out we started talking about when we wanted to return to the hospital, as contractions intensified I grew more terrified about having to travel back to the hospital because I knew I was going to end up having a few contractions in the car and one or two on the way into the hospital. So while Devin called the hospital to check in I sat on the couch and opened a window so I could feel the fresh air while I dealt with contractions. Luckily for the people of our apartment building, their morning walks with their dogs were met with my painful moans floating out the window. How pleasant. 

At around 8:30 we decided to head back to the hospital - this time for the real deal. We once again went through intake where I was checked and told I was now at 4.5 cm....for real? A full night of painful contractions and I got a measly extra centimeter and a half? They once again said we could go home if we wanted but the thought of going all the way back to the car, and back home only to do it again a few hours later made me want to vomit and cry my eyes out at the same time. Having contractions is hard enough, having them in the car without being able to move was horrendous. So I told them that was a no-go option in my book and they began working on getting us admitted. 

Once we were in our own room we called our midwife and asked her to join us, and started trying a ton of different techniques to cope with the contractions. For each contraction either Devin or our doula was rubbing my back/applying pressure and coaching me through the pain. They were both absolutely wonderful and I was so thankful to have them there with me. We used the bouncing birth ball a ton, I sat in the shower a lot where Devin applied hot water to my back, I leaned on pretty much every hard surface in the room during contractions, I breathed as deeply as I could and let out long loud moans during each contraction that sounded like a dying whale, and in between each one we all chatted and joked around to pass the time which was very helpful.

At one point the nurse came in and we mentioned that my parents were in the waiting room and she seemed concerned that they would be waiting a while. She asked if they knew it was going to be a long time, possibly the next day, and we said Yes. They knew. And they weren't going anywhere. They were in it for the loooong haul. 

Overall Devin and I absolutely loved having a doula there with us because that meant Devin could go eat with my parents, provide them periodic updates, and also rest his arms (Have you ever had to rub someones back intermittently for 24 hours? You will run out of steam eventually and your laboring wife will not be happy with that.) As the day went on the nurses told me I needed to try and eat something, so I ordered a hot ham and cheese sandwich begrudgingly but I couldn't even look at it when it arrived. Devin made me take a bite, and after taking the world's smallest bite I looked miserably at him and told him I couldn't swallow it - so into his hand the chewed hot ham and cheese went. What's funny is that when I packed my labor bag 90% of it was snacks because I was all "Yeah I am totally going to want to eat during labor I need to bring a LOT of food." And my mom was like "Ummm... I am pretty sure that is not going to be the case."

Yeah. She was right.

Then at about 5:00 pm that evening they checked me again and I was 5 cm. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I had now been fielding painful contractions for 25 hours, and had been awake for 35 hours and I was still only at 5 cm?! We continued on for a while and finally I told Devin we needed to talk pain management because the contractions were getting harder to handle and I was already so exhausted. I was worried that if I didn't rest I would never make it to actually pushing this baby out. So we talked with the doula and the nurses and decided on an IV medication that would last a couple hours. That way once it wore off I could still labor naturally to the grand finale. So I got hooked up, and although the drugs helped me sleep, they honestly did not help with the pain of contractions. Bummer. 

While I was lying in bed they hooked me up to a contraction monitor and a few hours later the midwife came in and said that things had slowed down even more, so her suggestion was we start me on some pitocin and an epidural or we could break my water and see if that helped. Once I knew that she was on board for the pitocin/epidural combo I was like YES MA'AM, stop there - you had me at epidural! At that point I knew we needed to get this show on the road and I was just so ready to have our baby. Also before we made he decision everyone asked us about any concerns we had and addressed thoroughly to make sure we felt comfortable with our options. Devin and I have been raving about our care team because we felt like they really listened to us, gave us options, and consistently had our best interest at heart. 

Also by that point I felt like I had really put in a valiant effort and was not at all disappointed about how we had labored. The entire time leading up to the birth of our daughter I got used to the idea that although we had a birth plan somethings are simply out of our control, and ultimately the one thing I wanted to avoid was a c-section, so by getting the epidural I didn't feel like we were abandoning our original wishes at all. Devin assured me that he wanted me to have the type of labor I felt was best and he just didn't want me to regret the epidural decision later, mostly he just wanted me to be making decisions because it's what I wanted and not because I was worried about what other people thought. 

After we made that decision things felt like they moved ahead pretty quickly and before I knew it the anesthesiologist was there and Devin said I must have been a little loopy because I told the man I was SO happy to see him multiple times. Once the epidural was on board I felt like I had the second wind I needed and was the happiest clam in the world! My smile was HUGE and I was finally able to feel excited about the fact that our baby was on her way. Prior to that I was too wrapped up in the world of contractions to really comprehend how soon our baby girl would be arriving. Getting to spend a few hours excited and eagerly anticipating her arrival was definitely worth it. 

I got the epidural at 10:00 pm and when I was checked after that we were at 8 cm!! Now that was some progress I felt great about. Once I had the epidural my parents came in for a little visit and it was wonderful to see them after such a long painful day. Over the next few hours I tried to rest and luckily I could still feel the contractions which was important to me, they were just a million times easier to manage. After midnight they broke my water because it was still intact and was causing a lot of pressure and that's when they found out there was meconium in the fluid. So our plan once again had to change because meconium meant she would need to go to the peds team right away and would not get to do skin to skin with mom after birth. This also meant no delayed cord clamping. To be honest this was the part I was most bummed about, but once again I knew that not everything could go exactly as planned and as my midwife said even though we were pretty much blowing up our birthing plan - she was determined to make sure I did not need a c-section. 

Not long after the breaking of my water I was at 10 cm, and they were just waiting for a few things to fall into place before I could push. Every hour I got a check until 3:00 am when I knew things were about to go down. The pressure was getting very very intense and I was starting to get the urge to push. My doula called the nurse who checked and said I was ready. Finally. 

We were finally going to meet our daughter. The moment they said I could start pushing I was absolutely determined to get that baby out. I felt like so much of the past nearly 48 hours were out of my control, but pushing was all me. As each contraction came I pushed as hard as I could and felt so powerful. Devin held one leg while the doula held the other, and after a few contractions everyone started to get SO EXCITED and told me they could see her head and she had a ton of hair! Then with one final push I could feel her head pop out and then came the rest of her body. 17 minutes of pushing and she was out. And Devin and I locked eyes and with tears streaming down both our faces we breathed a sigh of relief at exactly 3:42 am. We had done it. 

She was here. She was safe. She was more beautiful than we had imagined. Devin cut the cord and went over with the peds team to keep an eye on her - meanwhile I birthed the placenta, got stitched up, and waited for my baby to return. Here are a couple pictures Devin snapped of Rosie getting checked over in our room. 

Even though I couldn't see her, I could hear her, and I couldn't stop smiling. 

Then before they took her away to do a closer examination Devin brought her over to me and for the first time our family 3 was together.


I love Devin's face in this one. He isn't one for forced smiles, and this smile here is as genuine as they come. In fact I didn't see it leave his face until we went to sleep.


I had to wait until about 5:00 am for them to bring her back, but while I waited they brought me a sandwich and some snacks and also a few printed pictures of her which I thought was really sweet of them. Again this was a time we were really happy we had a doula because Devin got to be with Rosie and didn't have to worry about me lying alone in the hospital bed. Here are a few pictures Devin snapped during her examination. While she was in there my parents got to go say hello but Devin made them wait to find out her name until I could tell them.








Then they came back! And I got to stare at this beautiful baby and wonder how on Earth we could have made something so perfect. I am usually a worrier, a hypochondriac, anxious, and over the top. But during this pregnancy I was amazed at the sense of calm I felt about the little person growing inside of me. I could have spent hours and days obsessing over what could go wrong, about problems she could be developing inside of me, but for 9 months I felt a sense of peace. I knew she would be ok. Seeing her wrapped up, looking as comfortable as could be was such a surreal moment. This was the little girl who had been kicking me for months on end, this was our daughter who we dreamt about and talked about for hours on end and couldn't wait to meet. Nothing in the world can prepare you for that moment, and I know I will remember that feeling for the rest of my life. The sense of relief that she was healthy, alert, and in all senses of the word - perfect. The gentle way we handled her in those first few hours, not wanting to break her and also wanting her to know that even though this world is bright and noisy it is also soft, and warm, and peaceful. The way we examined every single part of her, looking at her tiny hands and rubbing her head which was filled with hair (exactly as I had hoped it would be). Admiring how soft she was, the way her skin had yet to develop that roughness that comes with living, the everyday wear and tear we all succumb to. We kissed her too many times to keep count, we kissed each other, and we fell in love all over again in that hospital room.


Then the grandparents got to hold their granddaughter for the first time, and even though it was 5:00 am and we were all exhausted, for the moment I don't think anyone felt anything but joy and pure happiness. And they finally learned her name. Rosalind Kristina Cosme.

Rosalind for a few reasons. 1) I love that it ends with Lind. My mom's name is Linda, and Caitlin ends with a lin...so it seemed a nice connection between all of us. 2) Rosalind Franklin was a scientist with a very interesting story that I greatly admire and I hope Rosie grows up to be full of brains, strength, and tenacity just like all the female scientists I know.

Then her middle name comes from my sister Christina. We chose to spell it a bit differently because we love the initials RKC, and also it gives her a bit of her own style.





At about 6:00 we got transitioned into our own room in the mother baby unit and after telling my parents goodbye we all fell asleep. Devin, Cate, and Rosie. 48 hours after the journey began, we had arrived. We made it to parenthood.


Over the next two days in the hospital we got to spend time learning to change diapers, give her a bath, and cuddled her every second we got. We got visits from my parents, and brother, and let her know that all of these people were so excited to meet her!

Here is our first family selfie.





I love all her little parts so much. That nose is killing me with cuteness!

We spent most of our two days in the hospital lying in bed without a care in the worlds and lucky for Rosie, she was rarely out of someone's arms the entire time we were there. 






Then it was time to go home! With our baby and with no nurses to help us get through the night. I'm sorry...what?!



She looked so incredibly tiny when we put her in her car seat!




So far we are surviving though. We took her to the farmers market.


And the library! Because what is a better place for a 3 day old than the very quiet library? She did great though.

So now we spend our days cuddling and eating.


And making funny faces.


And sleeping on Daddy.


Let the adventures with Rosalind begin...