What We Know About Babies

At our very first birthing class (we took a two week Mindful Birthing class all about techniques for having a natural partner supported labor) our instructor asked us to share 1 thing that we knew about birth and 1 thing that we wanted to know. I said that I know birth can be unpredictable and given my type-A over-planning personality I wanted to learn ways to cope with those unexpected moments that won't fall in neatly with our birth plan.

Now when you broaden that question and ask "What is one thing you know about babies and one thing you want to know?" I have an easy answer. Babies are expensive and how the hell are we going to pay for one?

Like I mentioned I am an over-planner, sometimes to my detriment, so the idea of waiting any longer to figure out the answer to this question sends my anxiety levels through the roof. Thus Devin and I have started to make some changes to our lives that are really helping me feel like we've got this whole baby thing under control. Part of why I started this blog was because I am one of the first of my close friends to venture into parenthood, and I can tell you that as I prepare for this life event I am gobbling down baby information as fast as I can get my hands on it. But my favorite accounts of parenthood are those that come from the mommas I already know, and sometimes just reading their own personal experiences is enough to put my mind at ease. Deep breath. There are others who have been in this boat and they survived. So for the next few posts I'll be sharing the little things we've been doing to financially prepare for baby and maybe they will eventually help ease the worries of a fellow mom-to-be.

Budgeting 

Ok, so this sounds super obvious right? Like we should have been budgeting all along. But we haven't been. I have always been conscious of putting money into savings but we have developed a bad habit of relying on that money for non-essentials. For instance if at the end of the week our checking account is running low and we really want to go see a movie and get dinner we'll just use the savings account because it's only $30, right? Well not anymore.

I get paid once a month, so all of my check goes to paying essential bills (rent, credit cards, insurance, car payment, etc.). It is spoken for before it even arrives. On the other hand Devin gets paid every week, so we use his pay check for weekly things like groceries, gas, cell phone bills and the like. We also put part of each of Devin's check into savings, and once baby comes we will be dividing the day care bill by 4 and putting that amount into savings each week when Devin's check arrives. So this means our habit of pulling money out of savings willy nilly has to end quick, because we don't want to be the kind of parents who spend daycare money on sushi and froyo.

So to prepare ourselves for this change we are starting to treat that money in savings like daycare money now. When Devin's check arrives I immediately transfer a portion to savings, and we don't even consider pulling it out as an option. 

Then I start subtracting the essentials. Is a cell phone bill due that week? Electric? Obviously that gets subtracted first because there is no wiggle room - it has to get paid. 

Then we subtract gas. Depending where Devin is scheduled to work that week he needs anywhere from 1-2.5 tanks of gas, so I always check in with him to see how much he anticipates needing. This comes next because there is usually a little flexibility with gas (if he really needs to he could put in $20 instead of filling up the tank at the end of week) but more or less it is a non-negotiable essential. 

Then comes groceries. Depending on what is left after the essential subtractions I decide how much we have for groceries that week, because this is definitely an area with flexibility. If we have a little extra money for food that week maybe we will pick up some chips and salsa, if it's a tighter week this really isn't a necessity. (I'll chat more in the next post about how we have been sticking to this budget each week).

Then we subtract money for anything we have planned for the week (ie a weekend home or dinner with friends).

Then I see how much is left and decide what kind of extras we can afford that week. For instance I am waiting to order some prints from Walgreens to work on an art project for the babies room, but since ordering them would have been cutting it pretty close for the week I am waiting till the next check when I know Devin had a little overtime and we will have a bit extra. This is also when I decide if it's a good week to buy things like a new blouse, a few items for the baby, or a Father's Day present. This is a HUGE change because I never realized how fast these little things would add up and would typically just stop at the store to grab what I wanted (thus the need to pull from savings some weeks).

For some people this type of down to the wire budgeting may seem a little intense but to be honest I love it. I love knowing where they money is going, I love feeling like we have control over our finances, and I really love that at the end of the week our savings has remained untouched. Now obviously if something unexpected happens like a blown out tire or a much needed prescription needs to be purchased we have our savings to fall back on, which I am very thankful for. We are very lucky to not have to choose between groceries and fixing the car, but with this new method we are really learning about what can wait and what is an immediate need. Again these things probably sound like common sense, but I have to believe there are other young soon to be parents who just haven't developed these habits yet.